is my life going digital?

i got to realise i haven't blog for more than a year, and just happen so i feel like blogging today..

well, my title is definitely nothing new to us today but it's coming to mind everyday recently.. for sure i'm not a digital mastermind and my thoughts on digital is basically what i've heard of and read about as i'm lucky enough to learn and pick up alot along my work and my everyday conversation in my life..

it kind of started when a buddy at pub pops up to me (half drunk), saying "freddie, yunno wut.. u seem different to me.. (burpp) u're not kind of like us ard u.. i juz can't really tell but i feel it since knowing u & seeing d way u carry urself.." (thanks for the compliments though i know he's quite drunk)

and we continue to talk for almost an hour of what i want to do in life, and why should i wait? (common drunkards conversation anyway) long story short, what in me is just that i've never given up my dream of building my restaurant empire, and i'm impressed with how the world has gone on digital.. below are some reasons why..

first of all, i couldn't agree more to people telling me, digital is not a stand alone thingy that will make all the difference, be it your business or how people perceive about you.. 

in business, for sure the same old say.. you need an integrated plan to just make everything in sense, and digital is a new platform for you to reach to the right audience with the right needs that arouse upon the time being.. that can bring you to the level that conventional may not give the reach.. 

and to the example of how digital has changed people as individual, someone can just be "somebody" overnight that everyone's crazy about.. but you'll still need to "engage your audience" in your everyday life that people around you continue loving you, for a long long time..

second thing that, i seriously couldn't imagine how fast digital has evolved throughout the years, from just intranet to internet, to chat tools, forum, then the rise of social media network.. "communication" has gone through evolution in crazy speed but really impressive..

and again, digital is not itself "something new" anyway if you try to find the connection.. it's just "another platform" to communicate among people..

"long long time ago..", people started to feel boring and they needed to communicate apart from fancying own self, so they started to "speak", later it evolved to "language".. 

then talking to person next to you and within community seemed to have limitation, so they thought of writing, where words were invented and later allowed them to write letters and share it with people miles away..

and so forth, telephone, TV, radio, newspaper, walkman, MP3, mobile phone, what so ever until today - digital, smartphone, social network & etc.. they all linked back to basic human needs, to just want to communicate, want some lifestyle, share your thoughts, and not being boring..        

back to my conversation with my buddy, he could understand why restaurant business (since human's nature - love foods) but he was wondering why digital and he asked doubtfully: "are you even IT savvy?"

well frankly speaking, i'm not at all.. i can't even figure out why when an "error" pops up, nor i can fix a standard hardware to my laptop..

but the thing is, digital is not just about IT engineering, it's a form of "art & lifestyle" to me, where i even told people around me, digital is not really "new news" but it definitely is a new form of "art", "trend" that evolves our lifestyle in a different way.. 

so, i'm not looking into being a networking technician or java script developer.. what i aspire to be is "digital architect", where i plan, design and build a structure for how my restaurant empire should achieve much more than what it's built for ultimately, with digital platform being part of the integrated supports..

and i truly believe, digital platform has much more to offer for food & beverage industry in the coming years, it's gonna change our decisions, behavior, habits and also the ambient or the whole physical scene of dining lifestyle.. just think of how foursquare, tumblr, fb places have already partly affected your choices in different ways.. what's more to come, hopefully not just "color" app, google "+1", and i can't even tell those exciting ones that will be coming to digital scene..  

to this stage, common question that comes to mind: "is it quantifiable or measurable?"

honestly, there will never be a "perfect tracking" that tells you: "fred, you're 100% sure in the right path and that will make you 90% probability generating 60% profits.." damn it! sounds really irritating and alot of times, killed not just digital platform evolution, we seem to not learn from the past that these "business sense" killed alot of other media's true potential..

well, i'm not saying it's not important or we should not go for business sense.. but at times, i really feel like we're being hold back too much by "corporate mindset" and care too much about "self fulfilling achievements".. reason being, our "still kind of fresh" media platform - digital, is just like any conventional media in the past, will have unexpected influence & reach to people out there even before it can be "tracked properly"..

just imagine, if we do not overcome this "mindset barrier" to certain extend, in layman term.. if our ancestor has decided to measure how will "speaking" benefit our life to which level of achievement.. and in the event if they failed to "quantify" the "returns", we might have all as well still remained dumb until today..

all above being said, doesn't mean that i believe digital will overtake everything in life.. for a very simple reason.. we're just human being, we need our "senses" in life to be completely a human.. you will still need love, care, touch/interaction between you and your family, love ones, and buddies.. 

even if the day we've come to life as in "Matrix World", where digital itself is our world, where we can only "imagine", "believe" and "imitate" life being, you do see that keanu reeves still hugs and kisses his gf in the "matrix world" right? 

before i end my long blogging, back to my blog's title: "is my life going digital?"

i personally think, yes, for sure now digital is already partly affecting my everyday life..

then to the question: "how much will digital change our life in the future?"

honestly, i can't tell because i'm not a prophet, the only thing i can tell is we're today at the sweet spot of evolving into digital world.. let's live it through and enjoy it.. we'll find it out together how digital will change us.. =)

by, Fred 

"letter to mama"..

when u're really really down,
when u meet obstacles that never experience b4,
when u feel bored hanging out too much with frens,
when u face the biggest failure in ur life,
and when u really really need someone 2 hug u tight and give u the energy boost to move on..
who wud u think of?
it cud b ur gf/bf/bro/best mate..

for me.. it used 2 b mom.. it's been alomost a year without mom.. it's really sad that i cud neva talk to her anymore.. she's just like my security blanket.. frm time 2 time, memories with mom kept flashing back.. i feel the emptiness without her and thought of writing this "letter to mama"..


mama,

i rmbr when i was a lil' kid, i used 2 b a mummy boy, they alwaiz teased me for being "kwan geok jai".. but i didn't bother much, coz i felt too comfortable sticking ard you, i'm proud to hav u as mama for many reasons..

(1) when i was lil' kid fred, during nights that are dark n stormy, and i cudn't sleep.. i knocked on your bedroom door.

kid fred: "mama, i scared ah.. i cannot sleep.."
mama: "oiyooh ah hoong.. still not sleeping yet ah.. come.. come to mama.."

then i'd squeeze in between you & papa, you'd cuddle me, and listening to your breath.. i'd soon fall asleep.. normally, papa wud hav 2 reactions, either he stared with sleepy eyes awhile then back 2 sound sleeping.. or he'd peep sneakily.. i think when he peep, it cud b you & him were having some "actions" b4 i knocked on the door..(-_-"")


(2) when i was lil' kid fred, i "accidentally" pee or shit during sleep (-_-"") seriously, those were "accidents".. i cudn't hav planned 4 it right?

kid fred: "mama.. mama.. i was sleeping, then hor.. suddenly i woke up.. then hor.. my "loh yau" very wet ooh.."
mama: "oiyooh ah hoong.. tis time u "lai shi" or "lai liu"? don't tell me u did both ah.."
kid fred: "no no mama.. no la.. i think my ass sweating only.. so hot ma.." (i really thought i cud get away with lame excuse)

then you neva fail 2 wake up with your tired body and wash my lil' "loh yau" in bathroom and change my bedsheet.. and u'd juz giggle at me.. back then i alwiz wondered y u neva scolded me, even i woke u up with my smelly ass.. later on i realised.. that's how great ur love 2 me cud b.. *sob* T___T


(3) when i was in high school, u were really busy with work and that's when i started 2 hav some distance with u.. most of the time, i hang ard with frens, staying at home alone.. worse still when i started college, i'm so sorry that i picked up smoking, drinking, wasting my time and fooling ard without much thought bout future.. u nagged me alot during those years.. but i was too naive and didn't realise how much i'd broke ur heart 4 the shits i was doing back then.. it's alwiz regrets after regrets.. so regret that i'd threw my hot temper at ur nagging.. i neva meant that n i'm really sorry i did that.. T___T


(4) when i was in sydney for 3 yrs.. i really felt and realised that i needed u alot.. juz like when i was lil' kid fred.. i didn't talk much 2 u since high school.. but during uni days in sydney, i'd called u and whined alot thru phone.. more than wut i'd spoken 2 u in 5 yrs of high school.. and i really wan u 2 know, ur words had calmed me alot, u don't hav 2 feel bad 4 not being there 4 me, ur pampering words thru phone cured all the pains i was suffering back then.. i won't 4get that though i wasn't the best student in uni but u said "well done, ah hoong, dai gor jai la.." i really appreciate that alot when u congratulated me on my graduation.. i really mean it.. T___T


(5) when i 1st started working, i was so stressed and cudn't take all the shits.. thank you for all the caring words that u'd shared with me.. compliments frm bosses were great but ur caring words and the encouragement u'd given me meant more than one million compliments frm anybody else.. i'm sorry that i've spent most of my time at work followed by happy hours with frens, i'm sorry that i've not spare my time with u more.. i know u'd sneak into my room during wkends and looked at me by bedside when i was sleeping like a pig, and thank you for having those food ready when i woke up at mid-day on saturdays.. how i wish i cud have them again on saturdays.. T___T


i really miss u alot mama.. i won't 4get the days with u.. don't worry bout me.. i've been stronger and i'm doing all my best 2 get tougher.. i wan u 2 know i hav u tattoed at my neck.. u're my guardian star as u alwiz were back then.. i wan 2 share my every success with u by having u watch me frm my back.. i still wanna be your "ah hoong" in my next life.. love you loads..

your beloved son,
ah hoong

"confuse" VS "converted"

this post is actually like an extension of "about freddie" that u see at the right panel in my blog.. it's some elaboration about my sexuality appeal.. (-_-"")  thought of publicly announce it so ppl around me won't be wondering too much about my sexuality appeal anymore..

why ppl around me always wonder whether i'm gay?
i could think of 2 possible reasons:
(1) i once proclaim that i'm "confuse"..
(2) da style i dress up myself..

as a marketer, i tend 2 categorize myself by looking at a "big picture"..

 what about u? where do u think best fit into?

i once proclaimed that i'm "confuse", and to me, the meaning of "confuse" is that u're actually at the stage of wondering where do u belong.. more of "straight male/female" or more of "gay/lesbian/bi".. but majority of ppl will take it as.. "oooh.. u're gay.." when u tell them u're confuse.. i would say it's so wrong..!! being confuse.. is basically being at the gray area.. of being "not sure" and "undecided" yet.. so.. being "confuse" is not equivalent to "converted"..!!

why was i "confuse"? da story begins when i was dumped by my ex-gf back then and i had conversation with my hairstylist, where i got to know alot of guys actually go thru confuse stage b4 turning into gays.. realising that they've been wasting time dating gals in the past, mainly due to the "warm-caring" & "always accommodate you" feeling they get frm the gays..

after hearing it, i thought.. hmm.. i kind of have gf-phobia after many rounds of failures in r/ship.. and at that period of time.. not much of "blood circulation" or "physical response" even when i watched my favorite AV - maria ozawa.. (-_-"")

maria ozawa.. woo hoo..

not sure if it was becoz of my heavy smoking habbit or alcohol consumption around that time..

besides the misunderstanding of "confuse" vs "converted" by majority of ppl around me.. they've also been misjudging me by da way i dress up.. maybe i normally wear tight or skinny pants.. but that's just being metro sexual.. (-_-"") now let me show u some examples..













is he gay? prolly not..

is he gay? prolly not.. in fact he's one of my favorite artist, check out how rock he is in his latest MV..!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkUxUPUj8Sc

so.. i would say.. dun judge da sexuality appeal base on one's appearance.. unless they go to this extend & publicly announce that they are.. (-_-"")

marc jacobs & partner.. (-_-"")

but afterall, i think i've been through the stage of being "confuse".. and i definitely neva eva go into "converted" stage.. prolly becoz after seeing some real life "samples" such as marc jacobs.. no offense.. (-_-"").. but i guess i juz can't really take it to shagging another man with beard all around.. 

not sure if i cud find my "angelina jolie" or "maria ozawa" soon.. but sure i will wait on and not finding "quick fix" on my arse hole.. and so, frm now on, u shud say: "wow, freddie u're so metro sexual.." and not "ooohh, freddie u're fucking gay.."

"toilet incident" @ sitiawan wedding dinner!!

during raya long holiday, was in sitiawan for ashley's wedding dinner, being sole driver all da way 2 sitiawan, my thighs are still aching.. hopefully "lil' fred jr." in between still doing alright.. (-_-"")

cudn't stand the congested traffic due to raya, we stopped by bidor, which is my dad's hometown, for herbal duck noodle @ "pan jan", used 2 b my dad's favorite hang out place in his teens.. was too hungry so 4got 2 snap some pic b4 feeding ourselves..

steve thinking: "pok kai" lo.. went too fast, 4got bout taking pic..

only manage 2 snap da "aftermeal" image of "herbal duck noodle".. lol..

we headed straight 2 wedding dinner hall when we reached sitiawan, shocked 2 see 55 round tables set-up in a hall, gotta know frm ashley that wedding dinners at small town is not costly at all though.. i saw some "antiques decoration" inside da hall, and later realised they actually belong 2 bride's grandpa.. lol.. and even saw her grandpa grab da pipe 4 smoking on da spot..

"old grandpa pipe".. with saliva.. (-_-"")

omg.. havn't seen these water bottle & steam iron 4 ages..

 

woohoo, if that's bride's granny in the past, grandpa is helluva lucky guy..

besides the antiques, was oso surprised plenty of hot chics in sitiawan ne.. cudn't really snap some pic of those hot chics coz da hall was so filled-up.. T.T

lucky enough 2 hav a pic with bride's sister.. can't really rmbr her name but we kept naming her "angelina jolie".. why? coz her dressing style really causing us "nose bleeding" ne.. i still rmbr she was wearing some super-ultra-omg shorts at ashley's registration day back then.. woohoo.. keep bleeding.. keep keep bleeding nose.. (-_-"")

wondering why fattie & i "hehe" like that?

cause half way through dinner, steve suddenly said "beh tahan".. wanna shit!! and he realised all da toilet doors are without any shitty lock.. luff my fucking arse out!! hehehhehehehe.. in da end, fattie had 2 "jaga pintu" when steve did his "big business"..

 

fattie: niasing.. u done yet ah "fei hai steve"..

and disgusting enough.. later steve told us besides no lock, da toilets oso no toilet paper!! without panic.. he quickly grab some tissue frm our dinner table b4 rushing 2 settle his "billions of elephants crawling out of his arse"!! once again, undeniable, he's really da "smart steve".. juz wondering if the "rough tissue" cause any rashes on his arse chin.. lol..

after da "toilet incident".. not much of appetite left even when we saw this "slaughtering arena" of roast duck, chicken & piglet.. right next to da toilets.. (-_-"")

to end da wonderful night.. nice bamboo-cup wine to reward ashley & his lovely wifey, oh yes.. 4 those who don't know ashley.. no! ashley is not "she".. ashley is this man-in-black cum "bruce lee" kung-fu suit..

the party moves on to putrajaya on this coming saturday.. will be "heng dai" in da morning & emcee 4 da wedding dinner at putrajaya hotel restaurant.. not sure if i cud snap any photo coz i promise i'll be god-forsaken hell fuking drunk on that nite.. ashley said he alrdy booked some hotel rooms 4 da "heng dais".. me finger cross, praying dead hard that "angelina jolie" will be drunk too.. hehehe.. so i can fully "utilise" da hotel room!! woohoo!! u better wish me gud luck!!

"blow water" @ library

last sunday went dinner with steve, fattie, jay & his gf.. stop by jay's new cybercafe JAWBREAKERX (opposite segi college) b4 dinner.. not many gamers there on sunday nite, wondering if jay is really making money out of his cybercafe (-_-""), coz for RM1.50/hr i consider it's quite a fucking low rate..

after dinner, looking 4 some place 2 chill out but kota damansara pubs all not openning on wkends, damnit, as if these pubs are run by PR chic, no PR work no open..(-_-"") no choice, had 2 head da curve 4 some beer, so we've decided 2 check out "library", heard quite a decent place.. and yes, ambiance is not bad though, and on a sunday nite crowd still presence, impressive i must say.. but i don't fucking understd y that idiot deejay was not really playing any good music though standing right at the PA system 4 da whole night..

after few mouthful carlsberg pouring down stomach, as usual steve start "blow water".. the topics he blow about that nite includes:
(1) he's a close fren 2 bill gates, they're working on sum new anti-virus project lately
(2) he's very "brother" with library boss (da indon chinese bald guy, 4got his name)
(3) he's been blogging 4 da past 2 yrs, many celebs & big bosses ard da world have been begging him 2 blog bout their business.. but he refuse to do so coz he writes broken english (-_-"")
(4) and much much more..

look at how "gaya" he is when blowing water with jay & fattie..





when jay got 2 know i started blogging, we talked bout wut shit will really help 2 attract more followers, conclusion was 2 directions:
(1) porn pic/sex related/paparazzi kind of celebs leak photo
(2) screw and fuck da famous bloggers, politicians, celebs (i.e. after making big money, these fuckers erase the word "truth" frm their dictionary)

so i told jay bout my "sex blog" idea earlier, he said "wow, spot on, u'll definitely get famous sooner or later, brilliant, so out of box thinking man.." then steve joined in & continue blow water bout all sorts of idea he blog in the past (-_-"") he said he registered "fucking.blogspot.com".. when asked why, he smartly replied "u see ah, so many hamsup jai out there alwiz search porns online, if they type key words like *fuck*, then it'll lead them to click on my blogsite lo.. make good money.." luff my arse out, sumtimes he really makes me think he's really "smart"..

back 2 jay's compliments, i thanked him and said "bro, u really fucking supportive man, hell lotsa ppl weren't being receiptive on that sex blog idea.. to really show my appreciation, let me take few pics of u & ur gf, u guys are gonna be my next post, i'll potray ur sex life fantastic fucking great stories.." and then when i try 2 snap their pic, this was wut happened..

act as if like they didn't hear me.. refuse 2 face da camera (-_-"")

pushed me away, luff in embarassment & said "mahai, u don't fucking post my story & pic ah.."

so again disappointment, all these guys wanna know other's secretive sex life but refuse 2 share their own's.. (-_-"")

after 2 jugs carlsberg, steve was thinking, we're at a hip place, sure must order some hip beer lately, hooooooegaaaarden.. so when the hoe pint came, steve fuck the waiter in & out, "wtf is this, hoegaarden or asshoe? y no bubble one? ur library don't serve fresh hoegaarden beer meh?" then this time round he blow water 2 da max telling the waiter "where's ur many kerja (manager), do u know i vry bro wit ur boss, i everyday support his pub & club, y serve me no bubble hoegaarden?" here comes his real intention afterall "i dun fucking care ah.. ask ur boss gimme 2 more pints free.. hehe.." of course the waiter didn't freak out, just giggle abit then went off..

steve so piss off with the "no bubble hoegaarden".. (-_-"")

jay & gf wanted 2 ciaoz but steve & fattie insisted 2 order more hoegaarden and if again no bubble, they'll ban going library again.. i think that waiter stressed out, then shake the beer well b4 serving them, so da 2nd round hooooooegaaaaarden turn out 2 b vry bubbbbbllyyy....

steve forgiving the "no bubble" earlier, says "this is wut we call hole in the garden ma.." (-_-"")

we left after the satifying "bubble hoegaarden", afterall not bad a nite out, though still havn't figure out clear direction 4 my blog.. and filled wit plenty of steve's bullshit.. (-_-"") library will b some place i definitely will revisit, hopefully wit some gorgeous lady next time round..

阮玲玉 - "人言可畏" (words threatened)

seems like the idea of sex blog is being unacceptable.. it reminds me of a person i got to know frm some TV programme.. i've google her to refresh my understanding of her life.. here are something about her..

Ruan Ling-Yu is probably the most talented, most famous movie star in 20s and 30s Chinese silent film era. In her short life she had starred in more than 20 films, many of them are regarded as masterpieces. Her career reaches a peak at the tender age of 24. Unfortunately, slanderous remarks soon marred her reputation and she commits suicide on 8 March 1935, leaving behind a brief note - "words threatened" (人言可畏).

Ruan Ling-Yu was born in Shanghai in 1910. Her family was a poor migrant family from Canton. Lost her father in the early age, she had to help her mother who worked as a house maid. However her mother managed to send her to a school where she recognised her passion for stage performance the first time.

 

Ruan Ling-Yu was discovered by director Bu Wancang from Star Film Company and starred in her first film The Couple in Name (1926). The film was a mild success and she starred several films for Star in the next few years. Her career took off when she left Star and joined Da Zhonghua Baihe Film Company which merged with other companies and became Lianhua Film Company later. The first film she starred for Lianhua, A Dream in the Old Capital (1929) was a huge success and made her name. In Lianhua, Ruan Ling-Yu worked with a group of creative and exciting young directors and writers and starred in a dozen of critical acclaimed yet commercially successful films, including Wild Flowers by the Road (1930), Love and Duty (1931), Little Cuttie (1933), Goodbye Shanghai (1934), New Women (1934), The Goddess (1934). Her ability to understand and convey the director's intention was universally praised by the directors she worked with.

 
Contrast to her success on the screen, her personal life was a tragedy. She fell in love with Zhang Damin, the young master of the house her mother worked, before starting her film career. They lived together eventually. But in a class-divided society they couldn't get married because of the objection from Zhang Damin's mother. Their relationship deteriorated when she became successful. She later left Zhang and lived with a businessman Tang Jishan. When Zhang sued Tang for damage this became a scandal in 30s Shanghai and Ruan Ling-Yu was hounded by the tabloid press.
 
 
Under severe pressure, Ruan Ling-Yu committed suicide by sleeping pill overdose in the early morning of 8th March, 1935. Her sudden death ignited fierce debate on the behavior of tabloid newspapers and the protection of women in public life. Some said she was in frustration and helplessness. Her suicide is only her way of displaying her silent protest against all the negativities bombarded at her. Her funeral was attended by thousands of people.

it's a lesson 2 learn for everybody i guess.. sometimes public perception could be really threatening.. moving forward.. i won't stop blogging.. but guess i'll do it in a different manner.. maybe juz any shit that i feel like or think of.. but defeinitely not somethg that appears 2 b offensive 2 anyone.. n dun worry.. i'm a sagitaurius, i won't b so depressed like Ruan Ling-Yu n chose that path..

is freddie really good at sex?

well, ppl might be wondering, if i said i start blogging bout sex, how good u really r at it?

definitely i'm not like expert, guru or maniac.. but here goes somethg bout my sex experience..

like most guys, i grew up very curious bout sex.. when i was having lunch with colleagues the other day, bryan was saying that he once heard men think bout sex every 7 seconds.. woo hoo.. so i felt relief to realise i'm not the only abnormal one.. wheneva u see me like this..

(yeah.. it could b me thinking of somethg kinky.. lol..)

back 2 the story how i learnt bout sex.. i remember i was always together with my cousin brother, same aage as mine, searching for porn magz and got excited with them.. later on i neva stop developing, started to dig my daddy & brother's secret hiding places for more porns, well, the porns back then were more of european, not much of japanese AV.. and the european aggressive style doesn't quite fancy me afterall.. it was in highschool time i got to "exchange" the commonly available pirated CD and learnt more thru watching while "satisfying" myself.. (-_-"")

but.. watching porns can only "improve" me to certain extend.. and i couldn't wait to "apply" the theories i learnt throughout.. i have 2 admit i was so naive back then, thinking of having a gf is juz 2 "enjoy" the intimate actions.. woo woo wohoo! i first "lost" my virginity in the age of 16.. don't ask who & don't guess, i'm not proud of loosing it at that age.. hope this is not offending anyone & i neva meant to say how great my sex experience or to naively show off how many girls i had sex with.. in fact if u ask me, i feel ashame of the mistakes i've done in the past.. everybody grew up making mistake.. the message i'm trying to send here is that freddie has done all these shits in the past, try ur best to avoid if u could..

at the age of 17, i slowly realise having sex is not only bout "settle" my own needs.. it's bout how u show ur love & passion 2 ur partner.. that was when i started to imitate the romance foreplay (though again learnt frm porns, i do inject in alot of my love feelings doing it.. (-_-""))..

it was when i broke up with my gf when i was ard 20, it was when i turned into a very bad boy.. a very playboy.. again, i have to say i was naive.. at that age i didn't think twice and acted foolishly yo hunt ard, just idiotly thinking having sex with many girls proove i'm very loveable.. i was so so wrong.. all the mistakes i've done is only leaving me sins that made me imperfect and left me vry hurting moments.. juz like once my beloved mom said to me:

mom: "freddie wut r u trying to proove to me when u bring back different gals every weekend.."

fred: "no.. no.. (wanted to debate myself, i cudn't afford hotel rooms ma.. (-_-"") but didn't dare to say out..), i broke up.. i vry sad.. i was so drunk last nite.. i didn't realise i brought her back.. (yes i know it's so lame.. but wut else cud i say..)"

mom: "broke up.. sigh.. so? stop giving lame excuse.. (yeah, mom knew me da most, and here it comes the most hurting line in my life.. seriously if u hear it frm ur mom..) yunno wut, i dun see u being so great fred.. i'm like seeing a GAO GONG (male dog) in u!!"

fred: "... T.T.. (speechless.. shud hav defended myself at least i didn't do 2-timer ma.. some lil' difference between me & dog though (-_-""), i don't shag a few at a time..)"

(fred thinking.. omg.. i'm a male dog..)

well.. having mom to tell me i'm male dog, apart frm hurting, it's oso da softer version of mom saying: "u idiot son, u've been fucking foolishly screwing too much, don't u fucking realise u're just like animals shagging ard like no future!" i hav 2 thank mom 4 her love & patience.. to remind me that again.. sex is not somethg u play ard like a toy boy.. satisfying ur naive pervert needs, it shud b wut u're doing to show ur really love one u really love & care bout her.. u share ur romance intimate moments.. that's y it shud b appropriately mention Make Love..

since then, i stop screwing ard blindly.. partly oso becoz i went to sydney not long after that hurting incident.. but i truely understd the words my mom shared wit me.. fucking hurt, but really wake me up frm the foolish ages.. when i was in sydney, i met up gals frm different places but i don't do "male dog" anymore.. i got into serious r/ship (yes, though da r/ships started with sex anyway.. but it was not like juz fuck fuck fuck.. "love was made" naturally, when i really had da feeling to share my love towards them..)

today, if u ask me whether anot i'm good at sex, i can't tell (coz quantity doesn't mean quality works "done" in da past..) but at least i can proudly tell u.. i'm good at "making love".. coz i know the true meaning of it.. lesson learnt frm beloved mom.. thank you mom, ur words alwiz stay in lil' evil freddie's sinful mind!